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| Escapism |
I had back in 2004 made, what I thought was, a very witty comment. I was
returning back to India for the first time from the United States. As the
plane made its final descent into Mumbai skies, I could distinctly notice a
change of smell within the cabin. Almost as if the waft of the slums and open drainage
canals all across the populous city had made its way up 5000 ft, through the
plane’s incapable air filters and purifiers and into my nostrils. There was no
missing it, I was home. Long before the plane had landed.
returning back to India for the first time from the United States. As the
plane made its final descent into Mumbai skies, I could distinctly notice a
change of smell within the cabin. Almost as if the waft of the slums and open drainage
canals all across the populous city had made its way up 5000 ft, through the
plane’s incapable air filters and purifiers and into my nostrils. There was no
missing it, I was home. Long before the plane had landed.
Over the last ten years I have been re-returning to India almost at a
frequency of once per year. And each time I flew in, I started realizing
the smell of Mumbai was diminishing. Until this time I couldn’t notice it all!
In fact, until I had walked a few yards out of the plane and into the terminal
I could have been any international airport in the world. By
the time though I walked to the baggage claim and competed with the other Indians who
love hogging luggage trolleys, I am safely reminded that I am indeed back Home.
frequency of once per year. And each time I flew in, I started realizing
the smell of Mumbai was diminishing. Until this time I couldn’t notice it all!
In fact, until I had walked a few yards out of the plane and into the terminal
I could have been any international airport in the world. By
the time though I walked to the baggage claim and competed with the other Indians who
love hogging luggage trolleys, I am safely reminded that I am indeed back Home.
The changes, progressions of events and improvements in infrasturucture that I spot due to
my yearly visit made me think, ‘What kind of country is India becoming?’
my yearly visit made me think, ‘What kind of country is India becoming?’
By no means am I an expert on the topic of country identification and
definition. I am neither a political science major nor a civil services expert.
I also don’t have any shame in admitting that my understanding of different
governments and governed nations has been largely based on Wikipedia and office
discussions. But I have lived and travelled in the United States extensively
and followed that up by obtaining a resident status in Germany. I have worked and
travelled for longer durations in the countries of Canada, Sweden, Japan and
Singapore. It is with these qualifications I wanted to write this post which I
hope would suffice for the readers of this very inconsequential Blog.
definition. I am neither a political science major nor a civil services expert.
I also don’t have any shame in admitting that my understanding of different
governments and governed nations has been largely based on Wikipedia and office
discussions. But I have lived and travelled in the United States extensively
and followed that up by obtaining a resident status in Germany. I have worked and
travelled for longer durations in the countries of Canada, Sweden, Japan and
Singapore. It is with these qualifications I wanted to write this post which I
hope would suffice for the readers of this very inconsequential Blog.
There have been countless articles and documentaries on how India has
been changing, more so in the recent years. Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi opened
up the economy while I was still in school and now I spot a dozen odd brand
spanking new BMW’s on the roads in my small home town of Nashik. There is no doubt that India is growing, that
prosperity of the few is unparalleled and the purchasing power of India’s new
middle class has found a voice and stranglehold in todays world’s economy.
been changing, more so in the recent years. Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi opened
up the economy while I was still in school and now I spot a dozen odd brand
spanking new BMW’s on the roads in my small home town of Nashik. There is no doubt that India is growing, that
prosperity of the few is unparalleled and the purchasing power of India’s new
middle class has found a voice and stranglehold in todays world’s economy.
What of its people and its government? The topic of corruption has
remained unchanged. I would even go as far as to say that it has gone worse
since the stakes have increased. I was asked for a bribe by the custom officers
at the airport by preying on my fear of authority and I still see those Govt Officers spotting
foreigners to haggle for cash. Almost everyone I speak to has mentioned how
they account for corruption in their business plan as it were a certain
guaranteed expense. It would be naïve for me to assume that corruption doesn’t
exists in other countries but here in India I have
a feeling that it starts at the grass root level. That it wouldn’t matter how
meager the service you were requesting, it would always get worse if you
didn’t grease the hands of the giver.
remained unchanged. I would even go as far as to say that it has gone worse
since the stakes have increased. I was asked for a bribe by the custom officers
at the airport by preying on my fear of authority and I still see those Govt Officers spotting
foreigners to haggle for cash. Almost everyone I speak to has mentioned how
they account for corruption in their business plan as it were a certain
guaranteed expense. It would be naïve for me to assume that corruption doesn’t
exists in other countries but here in India I have
a feeling that it starts at the grass root level. That it wouldn’t matter how
meager the service you were requesting, it would always get worse if you
didn’t grease the hands of the giver.
Management books would talk of the famous ‘chalta hai’ Indian attitude
ten years ago and even today, the country is a living proof of it. The attitude
is a mixture of being indifferent and very tolerant. Something you could even
put a positive spin on since that makes us handle bad things very well. But I
fear it has now reached a point where there is no expectation of the good or at
least for long. I have in the last 20 odd days paid for things that were just
as costly anywhere in the world but received in place pathetic service and a
total lack of remorse. The new building that was gleaming last year now lays
surrounded by dirt and cracking paint. Not one road holds up. Not one carpet is
cleaned. Even in my own house, there are issues everywhere which needs fixing.
They haven’t been fixed not because we can’t but it is because we have become
so good in living with what is broken.
ten years ago and even today, the country is a living proof of it. The attitude
is a mixture of being indifferent and very tolerant. Something you could even
put a positive spin on since that makes us handle bad things very well. But I
fear it has now reached a point where there is no expectation of the good or at
least for long. I have in the last 20 odd days paid for things that were just
as costly anywhere in the world but received in place pathetic service and a
total lack of remorse. The new building that was gleaming last year now lays
surrounded by dirt and cracking paint. Not one road holds up. Not one carpet is
cleaned. Even in my own house, there are issues everywhere which needs fixing.
They haven’t been fixed not because we can’t but it is because we have become
so good in living with what is broken.
You could argue that I am being petty and can’t adjust. But after ten
years, I am now certain, I don’t ever want to adjust to indifference towards
other lives that is on display here. Imagine a nation of a 1.3 billion packed
in a single room and not one person is looking directly at each other. I bet
there are a million good souls here who are trying to make a change before
their progress is halted by a stronger more corrupt politician or a heinous
crime against women. The recent rape case in Delhi is only one of many that
occur everywhere and every day. It would be difficult proposition for a country
to change the psychological inclinations of disturbed men that do these acts
but I cannot still understand why no one have ever considering changing the
rape laws that are over 100 yr old and do not punish the offender severely
despite the utter gruesomeness of the act.
years, I am now certain, I don’t ever want to adjust to indifference towards
other lives that is on display here. Imagine a nation of a 1.3 billion packed
in a single room and not one person is looking directly at each other. I bet
there are a million good souls here who are trying to make a change before
their progress is halted by a stronger more corrupt politician or a heinous
crime against women. The recent rape case in Delhi is only one of many that
occur everywhere and every day. It would be difficult proposition for a country
to change the psychological inclinations of disturbed men that do these acts
but I cannot still understand why no one have ever considering changing the
rape laws that are over 100 yr old and do not punish the offender severely
despite the utter gruesomeness of the act.
I have had many discussions with good citizens of the country here.
There is evident anger in their voices. They are yearning for a change but at
the same time they seem almost impossibly fairly ok with the alternative of Status Quo. And even if the protests are getting louder, turning a
corner for a ship as large as India is not an easy feat. Especially when the ship is getting bigger
and fancier as we speak. Is it this inertia that makes our Goverment not fear the 1.3 billion Indian residesnt who might rise against it?
There is evident anger in their voices. They are yearning for a change but at
the same time they seem almost impossibly fairly ok with the alternative of Status Quo. And even if the protests are getting louder, turning a
corner for a ship as large as India is not an easy feat. Especially when the ship is getting bigger
and fancier as we speak. Is it this inertia that makes our Goverment not fear the 1.3 billion Indian residesnt who might rise against it?
There is Louis Vuitton here in the malls, but lack of respect for the
women in them. There is immense business potential here, but it needs a crooked
finger. There is juxtaposition here, but at the cost of rampant indifference.
There is progress here, but I feel it started from the wrong end.
women in them. There is immense business potential here, but it needs a crooked
finger. There is juxtaposition here, but at the cost of rampant indifference.
There is progress here, but I feel it started from the wrong end.
Until recently, I hadn’t realized how different her people had become. I
questioned if I was delusional in my recollection of it when I left for the
states. Where is the warmth that is portrayed in the incredible India ad
campaign? Where are the plethoras of
emotions that are gorged down in every movie or TV Show? Where is the humility?
We are busy finding ourselves a new identity in the modern India of ours but I
am afraid I never got the memo on what that new identity is. Are we shooting be
arrogant like the Brits? Do we want to be patriotic like the Americans? Or are
we thinking of being a regulated set of people like the Germans and the
Japanese?
questioned if I was delusional in my recollection of it when I left for the
states. Where is the warmth that is portrayed in the incredible India ad
campaign? Where are the plethoras of
emotions that are gorged down in every movie or TV Show? Where is the humility?
We are busy finding ourselves a new identity in the modern India of ours but I
am afraid I never got the memo on what that new identity is. Are we shooting be
arrogant like the Brits? Do we want to be patriotic like the Americans? Or are
we thinking of being a regulated set of people like the Germans and the
Japanese?
I am a terrible citizen of India because I don’t reside or vote
here. What is even more farcical is that I am writing this piece within days of
me flying back to Germany, a place that I am calling home for next couple of years.
What is it exactly then I am trying to achieve by even composing this text?
here. What is even more farcical is that I am writing this piece within days of
me flying back to Germany, a place that I am calling home for next couple of years.
What is it exactly then I am trying to achieve by even composing this text?
It has become such a routine, visiting India. I meet family, friends and
end up eating the same list of food which I can’t get anywhere else in the
world. I bask in Nashik’s warm sun. I enjoy being pampered at home and I sleep
long into the morning like one must on a holiday. But each time, I evaluate how
far I have strayed and how difficult would it be if I were to come back. That leads to me
being overly reflective and mostly harmless.
end up eating the same list of food which I can’t get anywhere else in the
world. I bask in Nashik’s warm sun. I enjoy being pampered at home and I sleep
long into the morning like one must on a holiday. But each time, I evaluate how
far I have strayed and how difficult would it be if I were to come back. That leads to me
being overly reflective and mostly harmless.
The question of what kind of country is laced with potent and ambiguity. There is a differnce between what kind of country India is becoming and what it should be. Meanwhile, I am trying to answer what kind of country can I/we make India to be.
I have been wrong earlier about a paradigm shift. I am now convinced things will get far worse before the system reponds for the better. And there in I hope, that our kids will finally understand that in the end only the truth can prevail.
I read your post. I don't agree about Brits being generalised as arrogant. I also think it's dramatic to end it like Truth will prevail. Indians aren't really truthful. Chalta hai/ Jugaad attitude is ingrained in the society-nothing disturbs me more. Textbook patriotism isn't what inspires me anymore. People make me emotional on the other hand, I mean real human stories. And i often wonder if I could feel equally emotionally if those people were from any other place because the reason why I react to Indian stories is because I understand them better than any others. In 10 yrs if you have totally related to the American thought and understand them as well as I understand India, would you not feel moved by them, too? I've been questioning this whole thing about geographical boundaries. I mean, we understand what we relate to the best. That's the crux of it. I feel Indian patriotism is limiting, because most people who claim to be really patriotic don't really care. Because the moment their lives get disturbed, they would throw away the notion of country first. Always easier to support cricket matches. I think Indians are just a very selfish lot, even historically. Always petty (or larger) personal gains over the state (how else would they have won Plassey)
To some extent your thoughts resonate with mine from last year, when I was in India for two months.
Me as an outsider, spoke to people, observed people, had discussions etc. I could see potential, and the growth and at the same time the indifference, the rat-race, the mob mentality of going with the flow.
I reacted strongly initially, argued with many people, but started getting tired by the end. And then slowly understood that there has to be a more clever way of revolting.
I think living abroad for some time gives you the capability to feel and start caring once again. I do wonder what kind of a person I would be if I was still living in India, and had never left to become this outsider. But along with this new found caring-attitude, there is always the possibility of running away from it all, just because I can, and becasue it is easier that way.
I realised I still wasn't ready to get my hands messy and join the fight for real. But I have hope, that one day I will be back here for good, and making a difference.
(Although the reason for me will not be patriotism, but in fact selfishness. Because I want to make a difference, because I want to do what makes me feel good.)
The point about truth prevailing, I don't much get. Truth changes everyday. Unless you are actively working towards a certain truth, a different one will prevail for our children and they too will survive.
Upasna: there is no debating selfishness but I fear that is not an Indian thing. Most likely an Indian puts himself ahead of the state is because he still hasn't seen the value of a state ever since the independence. If that changes, i feel so will the level of selfishness. That being said your observation of geographical reverence is interesting.
Upasna & Aradhita
My intent with the truth is very different from perhaps you understood. Most of my improvements have been as a result of a painful understanding of the truth. If your truth is that we are selfish lot, it is only when we accept that truth can we move forward. Yes, you can remain selfish. But without truthful problem realization there cannot be a solution.
The revolution might happen quicker but in my opinion it would take 20 to 30 years to go from problem identification, acceptance and solution.
Aradhita: thank you too for the well thought out comment. It good to see that there are non resident Indians residing vicariously 🙂 I sense hope in your tiredness. That alone is encouraging.
Upasna gave me the link to your post. After an internet hiatus, and a string of thoughts later I think I do not have much to add to the above comments.
But I deeply agree that to solve this problem one has to understand and accept that one is in deep shit. As a person who lived outside for a few years and returned back, I now understand why people choose to live away. Its not just a systemic failure but a very skewed society. I keep on having these discussions with friends who say they want to come back but dont want to make the effort. I think true belonging comes when you embrace the good with the bad. People (living here and otherwise) are not yet ready to do so. May be.
In the past week itself, I have had to fight for my physical space which raised many an eyebrows. I am also learning to say no to wrong practices and getting my hands messier in the process. But guess even if I do not make a big change or progress, I have to hope that it will be worth the effort. Just because it makes me feel good.
A very thought provoking post Dushyant, and one that echoes so many of my own thoughts and feelings. I was there last in August and those who know me know that India holds a very dear place in my heart. I will never be able to turn my back to it and will always have a longing to return to it. What struck me though in the last trip was I can no longer make a strong case for why someone else should similarly return. There is just too much that one has to overlook or overcome, and I do not see too much light at the end of the tunnel. I completely agree with you, things will get worse before they get better.
Really well written, truly did take many of my words out of my mouth.