Religious Stick shift groups victimized

Ann Arbor MI
9th March 2006
Despite contrary belief, several cases of manual transmission racism have been reported in the states of mid west and North East. This comes as a shock to generally car happy nation that once boasted one of the most powerful cars on the world.

Automatic transmission churches have set up base in US for over 60 years now. The religion offered simple preaching and relaxed punishments. Consequently, the locals were hooked and mass conversion began in 1960’s.

However, the purists who stuck with Manual Transmissions have over years faded rapidly. It is now believed that only 1 out of every 20 followers is a manual believer. While this number continues to go down, the Manuals maintain that despite being a much harder religion to understand at first, it offers plentiful rewards when fully accepted.

On the other hand, The Automatics claim that their religion is much more suited for inclement weather, rush hour traffic and straight road driving. While they accept themselves as a softer religion, newer principles and beliefs have strengthened the community even more.

Meanwhile, Manuals have now become the object of ridicule and are looked at strangely in the Dealerships. BMW, touting itself as the ultimate driving machine, punishes the manual followers by making them wait 2 months or more. AUDI favors Automatics too. The Japanese churches, fortunately offer some relief with Snicky-snappy six speed transmissions. Interestingly, the manual followers from the American churches don’t seem to miss the manual faith at all.

Despite severe criticism from believers and religious experts, the fate of the manual in US seems dwindling. It seems like it is up to a few followers to keep the candle burning and the cogs clicking.

By Iwishihad Onemoregear