The necessary quarter

2010 was the year of the Lotus. And in essence, that summarizes all of it. But that robs me of my usual wandering renderings. So perhaps, I will just go on for a bit.

Any year that quenches a dream that began since I was sixteen and one that needed me to save for over half a decade should automatically qualify for a god-damn good year. So when you tally the balance books, 2010 has come out squarely in the green.

Yet between the lines and racetracks this year, there will always be items to lament. Amongst the stunted American economy and contorted immigration policies, my aspirations took a severe reality bite. From a full-on-dream-mode I retired to a make-the-best-of-what-you-have mode. And while that seemed like a respectable task, it has become weary of late. I had decided to make 2010 the year of the turn around but it seems that even with my red lotus Elise I have only come half way.

In fact, I am now thoroughly questioning the point of recapturing this year or any year. I admit you can learn from the mistakes but that seems like a miserable way of ending a year. It is an even worse way of starting a new year.

While it is sad that a year makes me older, makes my reactions slower and my physical prowess more marginal, I am finally beginning to see the point. It was necessary for me to live through this quarter life crisis to understand that the meat of life is actually found in the other three quarters. The mediocrity and moderation that I glorified continuously was just a self fulfilling prophecy. It is a shame that I took this long to realize the futility of my ways.

Au contraire, I am convinced that I am destined for great things. It might take much longer than expected but therein lies the benefit. While I am realistically incapable of leaping tall buildings, I am certain that I can scrap away a tiny bit each strike to carve myself a tunnel of success. As long as I maintain the direction, the destination is only a matter of time. There are numerous variables along the way that can demolish my new found certainty but why worry about factors that you can’t control.

After all, after 12 years, I made it to the Lotus. Where I go from here, is as exciting as it is daunting. All I need to do now is to maintain my course, as my world strays off its.

Happy New Year, indeed!