Law of Averages


I have been so hardened by the fact that life never hands me what I want at first attempts, that I always count on multiple trips to the mall before I get something I like. But that doesn’t stop me from conjuring grand dreams of perfectly fitting branded denims at bargain prices. I further optimistically wish for affordable designer shoes, a crisp shirt on sale that every other ‘M’ sized male has mysteriously missed or even a simple polo in my size that falls on my imperfect midsection in a harmonious consolatory fashion. The reality, however, is quite capitalistically punishing. For e.g. the denims present a multiple probabilities of mismatches. If you do find a fade that you like, then finding your waist size on rack is most unlikely. Which means you would have to call on the shop-help who obviously is perfect and is wearing the latest collection quite shamelessly on his size 30 waist. And after I embarrassingly ask for your size, he returns with a pair albeit much longer then you expected. At this point, I rather deem myself a biological misfit then wear altered denims and walk out of the store. Eventually you do find the item but it costs more then half the cotton in the entire world. Of course, while you exasperate in the dressing room with this starking conclusion, the multi angled mirrors reveal facets of your stature that you never knew. Are those hind quarters really mine? And surely that isn’t my nose! And after six brands and six shops later, you find yourself walking towards the extremely pretty cashier with a piece of clothing in your hand that you never really wanted or had dreamed dreams of sliding into. It is only when you walk past the woe fully priced men’s boxers that you realize your follies and walk way from a mall. Today wasn’t you day. And perhaps, next weekend also might not be. But, on a sunny afternoon, you will find yourself returning from dropping a friend at the airport. You desperately seek to spend an hour outdoors before you return home. So you decide to swing by the mall, to nibble on an almond pretzel if nothing else. And almost like a puzzle it all comes together. The denims are shorter and cheaper. The mirrors are one dimensional and thinning. The cashier is still pretty. And you see with clarity that you really don’t need any more boxer shorts.

And you return with wardrobe additions that will most certainly be showcased at work next day. Along with a clean shaven look and a smile that clearly states that you love the unexpected. Even if it that expectedly means multiple trips…

11 thoughts on “Law of Averages

  • Somehow made me feel I havent shopped in so long… :)…and as long as you get wht u want, guess, all’s worth it…though must say u hv a hell lot of patience, to wait for the perfect thing…

  • ‘Impulsive’ is THE way to shop! I have mostly filled my wadrobe out like that. Sounds crazy – but there have been times when i have just stepped out with my friend for company sakes, and spended more than him/her!
    Sometimes, life gives u what u want – unexpectedly! 😀
    Luv,
    P

  • i hate hate hate shopping! especially with women (which makes it a hopeless situation, me being one!), and most especially with my sisters (with whom, generally, i love doing anything else)…coz they discuss a pair of fifteen buck pants to death!!

    “waddaya think of the colour? the fit? the length? will it GO with EVERYTHING? (and here is a complete listing of every item in their shared wardrobe!) what about shoes? and can i wear them in spring? will they be too hot in the summer (oh canada, I hate you for adding this question to their already too-long list!!)”

    and so on.

    I’m more like a guy in this area. If I like something I buy it. And I usually go alone.

  • Ah ha.. Shreya.. I like shopping especially with women. I spend my time then marvelling at their indecision or how they carefully plan a design of experiments around every set ot clothing they could either wear the next day or despise for the rest of their life. Of course, the justifications that they have to conjure before buying something ridiculously expensive is simply beyond compare.

    Its fantastic!

  • i HATE HATE HATE shopping for jeans!! I always ask my sister to do that for me. It’s so boring.

    Ok yeah, but i LOVE LOVE LOVE shopping for skirts, tops, ear-rings, teddybears, gifts etc etc etc in that case, I shop till I drop. he he.. but jeans.. naaaaaah!!

  • i have been having terrific luck with jeans lately.. 😛

    but you are right, shopping was a terrible hassle till I discovered Ann Taylor (whats the male equivalent of that, Jos A Bank. or some such I think and its worth it, Ive found. ) 🙂

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