Four years. Today, we have been together for four years.For starters, I will have you know that today my country marks her 60th year of independence. I really should be celebrating that but all I managed today was to change the wallpaper on my computer to reflect the Indian flag colors. However, that doesn’t mean I celebrated you instead. As far as our Anniversaries go, I fear, this year has been the most jaded. In reality I was away from you for four months chasing winters in the Norwegian Lap-lands or in northern Japan. And I say this without a doubt that I absolutely loved it. I did not miss the fattening cheese or the endless yards of fried frozen beef. Nor did I miss the completely boring Midwest landscape. However, I admit meekly, that I liked coming back home. To my bed and to my car! “Home”… Before you take that too seriously, please understand, I use that only because, of lack of a better word. There is a lot more you have to do before I can tag that word seriously in your land. Instead, I see you giving up in your efforts to excite me. You have unconditionally raised your gas prices and turned airplane travel into an epitome for frugality. Customer service for electronics has gone beyond phoning phony accented Indians to chatting on java applets to rude Americans who just don’t give a fuck. I have become more aware of the expansion joints on the construction laid interstates. And your Machiavellian capitalistic tendencies have only stressed my finances further. Yet, I have been able to own a 200 hp variable v-tech Honda motor that has taken me places beyond her GPS navigation can allow and faster then 200 Kph. You showed yourself off to my Parents and even taught me a few more tricks. I am still fascinated by your population density of clean restrooms and how most problems can be solved easily with a few dollars. I live cleaner here. I live healthier here. Emotionally you are useless but at least I come home from work at 1730 here. You tell me, will the following year be any better? Or is it that time in a relationship where excitement takes a back seat? Do you want me to accept all that is ordinary and routine Or do you still want me to believe, that in the remaining 31 states, in my post quarter life, the added responsibility at work and perhaps even in the boring routine, I shall find you again? I suppose you really can’t answer that. So maybe then, I will.
The grass did look greener on the other side of the ocean. Except that perhaps now you realize that the greenness of the grass doesnt really matter unless you are bovine.
Perhaps it is an issue of excess – you got yourself 200 hp when what you really wanted was 185 hp!
Anon
Well Said. Perhaps you are right. I should have stuck to my weight limit of 700 Kg.
I rushed make to ammend my previous comment – it should have been “205” not 200. I am surprised you didnt notice the 5 hp!
Anyway, you should go on a diet soon and get your weight down to 700 kg – after all I could do with some inspiration.
loved the post – i really like the way you personify the ‘subject’ in your posts!
I dont know why but I always feel as if there is some kind of a justification going on when you are talking to her always…as if you dont want her to get the wrong impression or maybe cos u never want to give in completely…Does it matter? Why not just let it be…arent there just 2 choices, and havent you made urs already?
Perhaps you are right about the justification part. But then, who isn’t justifying their everyday lives? Be it the 1 hour commute to work or that expensive black dress.
However I disagree with the choice proposition. There is only one true choice. And me, I havent made it as yet.
You know sometimes I like reading the comments as much as the post since different perspectives make it more interesting.
No one goes where one does not want to go. If you do not take a step forward/backwards, you are still. So though you may not have made a decision yet, you did make a choice somewhere.
I believe when we call a place HOME we are tying ourselves down to the place(despite my own attachment to HOME) and life should not be about being tied down – ideally!
-Sparsh
Sparsh
I completely agree. The interpretation of what I write by the readers is so varied that It gives me a sneak peak into their attitudes!
I suppose i need to clarify what I meant a little more. I certainly made a decision to come here and there is no debating that. But eventually there will come a time where I will have a choice to call it home. That choice I haven’t made as yet.
Your take on home is interesting enough. As much fun as not being tied down is, I think what makes it better is that you have a place to return when you are done flinging about 🙂
It is interesting to note that the observations I made in 4 weeks are similar to the observations made by you in 4 years.
Thats says a lot about “her”,don’t you think?
This doesnt really apply to you, but often people call places “home” and are content with that, not realizing that they dont even know their “home” properly.
And have you really not made the choice? Even though you may not have accepted it, somewhere in the past, deep within you, the decision has already been made. Eventually you will proclaim it.
Anon: Denying denial unfortunately has never worked 🙂 So Its best I stay shut on what choice exists and what choice I have made.
Thank you for visting and commenting!
Avanti: I sense a taunt here 🙂 Funnily I want to defend! Oh well, being on the fence was always going to be painful to my tush!
Another classic Dushyant post….:)
Divi: Not sure what that exactly means but I am hoping it leans on a positive note 🙂
1. Agree
2. Surprising + Reassuring
the ups and downs of a relationship.. the downs are what make the ups and viceversa.. if it were to flatten out, it owuld be very boring. 🙂
hang in there, America will bounce back, Im sure. 🙂
Mystic Rose: I agree. And in fact once the d-day boiled over, America is making her case again.