The interviewer is sitting opposite the subject. The room is mildly lit but not dark. The ambience seems very blah. Initial pleasantries have finished. The interviewer now wields a pen and paper while the young subject straightens up in the chair.
“So, you think you are ready?”
“Yes, I have been feeling it for a while. It is time. It must be done now.”
“Then let’s begin. I shall ask you a series of questions and then evaluate your answers. If your score matches our target score then you will be certified accordingly. Is that understood?”
“Yes.”
Q1: Are you feeling “not good enough” because you can’t find a job that is at your academic/intellectual level?
A1: No. I love my job. But routine is setting in. I get up the same times and drive on the same straight speed limited roads. At work I drink lousy coffee for a reason I don’t know. And in the evening I bring back my unfit body to an empty home. I just wanted something more then this. I wanted fame and so much more money. And a Lotus Elise
Q2: Are you frustrated with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable goal?
A2: Yes.
Q3: A little more detail would help, wouldn’t it?
A3: Yes.
Q4: Hmm, Ok. Moving on, are you having confusion of identity?
A4: Not so much an issue of identity but more of a belonging. I find myself walking dark alleys almost as if I am trying so damn hard to avoid the main avenue. Does that make any sense to you?
Q5: Let me stick to the questions. Tell me; are you insecure about the near future?
A5: Like you wouldn’t fucking believe. I had made a plan when I was sixteen which now seems completely astray. I had also imagined myself in best of physical health by this age but that too seems has gone a begging. Infact, to be fairly honest I am more petrified then scared.
Q6: Quite. Are you insecure of your present accomplishments?
A6: What accomplishments? I have done nothing as yet. My youth has failed me. I have failed my youth. I feel a descent coming when I am just about ready to climb.
Q7: How about re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships?
A7: How did you come up with these excellent questions? Of course, I have been re evaluating everything. But the more I look the more I realize that most blame lay with me. That makes it even worse. I want to go back to a time where relationships are not based on incredibly complex mind games. I yearn for a simple time where a hug really symbolized that you cared.
Q8: And nostalgia for university or college life?
A8: Yes. I was thinner and fitter then. In college I frolicked on a motorcycle and the opposite sex. I excelled in my simple pea brained classes and stood out in the university. Now I am just a fly on the corporate wall. I miss it all, the road side food, the sleepless nights with homework and friends. The rains, the chai and stolen glances with pretty Indian girls.
Q9: How about a tendency to hold stronger opinions?
A9: I am certain that everybody has this whole life thing figured out completely wrong. This I say without a shadow of a doubt.
Q10: Boredom with social interactions?
A10: Yes. I can no longer chit chat. There is simply no time.
Q11: Financially-rooted stress?
A11: I watch a TV that has no remote control. I pay medical bills like they are going out of style. I live in an apartment that only Chinese and Indian graduate students would call plush. My savings are pathetic and don’t look like they are getting any better. I have my fancy car but don’t have a Lotus as yet. I hate this damn question.
Q12: Last question. Do you feel lonely?
A12: This year, I will wish myself a happy birthday within the stained glass confines of the dilapidated Mumbai Airport. After which I shall wish myself good night on a barely hip wide seat of an airplane and pillow meant for lab rats. I will then pretend to sleep after which I will contemplate further as another plane makes it way across the Atlantic. When I do get home, I would have to get some fresh milk for the evening tea. It would be by far the loneliest day ever. And yet, I would be ok, purely due to habit.
The interview has finished. The interviewer gathers his papers and leaves the room. The subject slouches in is chair. He is certain that he made the cut. Within minutes the interviewer walks back in.
Well done. After reviewing your answers, despite a few answers being excessive, I feel confident that you have met all the target requirements exceedingly well. Therefore, I wish to congratulate you on your successful start of the much famed, “Quarter life Crisis”. You will officially change your status beginning next year. We will then monitor your progress and call you back when you have failed your next set of goals after a decade or so.
Until then, Godspeed and good luck!
hi dushyant..have been a silent reader of u r blog for some time and wud hav been if not for the ‘quarter life crisis’ post..:)..bingo…
btw…i am guessing… belated b’day wishes !
I heard, go through the worst part before the good part begins…
Btw, just how did you come up with these excellent questions?
US: Hi! Thanks for changing your status from that of a silent reader. And I am still waiting for the clock to tick over. Enjoying my last few days of youth ;-)Please keep coming by.
Upasna: Click the embedded link!Sure it get worse before it gets better after all how low can one go?
I can SO relate to you. I am so sorry DW. 🙁
BTW your bday is on 1st right? 🙂
u are leavin on the 1st ?? how come ?? so we cant meet again before u leave ?? 🙁
Hi Mr. CAR,
I’m the He of Him and Her.
I must appreciate how well you tried to understand me from your point of view,from the reference frame where you were located.
In terms of emotional IQ(and well,on most fronts,including imagination),you beat all writers I’ve read.
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Somewhere She has written a bit about her life turning upside down or downside up –> she herself doesn’t know.
Well I’ve a letter to Her,and I guess I’m at the right place now:
Dear “She”,
1. When I 1st came to your blog, it was pale yellow,with nonsensical would be,should be,could be,hi hello etc. all around.
OBSERVE and EVALUATE the change,
and atleast ACKNOWLEDGE the “trigger” of that change.
2. Where was this FM guy before you 1st aired your songs live in the bus to me?
HE WAS BORN that day.
He took the cue from me.
And I’ve to do the rude task of praising myself because you won’t do that.
3. Your sudden INFLUX of friends, brothers etc.,why exactly had it to happen after or around my arrival?
Think.
You’ve prepared hard for the CAT,
guess your brain must be high on analytical skills.
4. What really was ugly mam?
Please care to specify…
I took special time off to go out of the way and try to be with you at the right time and place.
What’s more,to keep up with your “Kabhi haa Kabhi naa” state of mind turned out to be risky for me.
5. What about that poem titled “Tanha”?
You and I know what exactly that poem means.
The comments below that’re not in accordance with the exact meaning ,
and the best you could do’s to acknowledge that I got it right.
Great piece though!
6. I happen to be direct and straight,and usually what I’ve done in life has yielded quick results.
Sometimes it happens right,sometimes doesn’t.
I’ve nothing against anyone really.
No hard feelings.
7. At the end of it all though,I regret the broken,rather unfulfilled promises.
The truth remains that I’m not the last guy on this planet nor’re you the last girl.
8. IT WAS REAL.
Guess I needed more time.
9. Your smile and “you” of the 2nd year will always remain in my memory.
Unforgettable,in the right spirit.
10. Why exactly had I come to you?
The no. 1 reason was that I had to discuss about studies.Putting a few programming languages and topics in place.You know,the “risk”
in not doing that would be “infinite”–> read it on a board in some class.
I was looking at you as in:
EDGE: What was the impact of Einstein’s love life on his work?
OVERBYE: In some ways I don’t think he would have gotten off the ground without Mileva around to bolster him and believe in him during his college years and right afterward. It very difficult time for him: his man professor hated him, he couldn’t find a job. Einstein, however, knew he was smart. Mileva understood physics, and she was no slouch, she had spent her whole life being the only girl in boys’ science classes. He could talk about physics with her, and get feedback, something that was enormously important to him his whole life long. She believed in him and she was not a frivolous person, so her opinion counted. That was very important at the time. There is no good evidence that she actually contributed substantially to the ideas behind relativity. But he was somebody who always needed somebody to talk to, and she was that person, for several years. He needed people to argue with specifically, he needed people to attack him intellectually, and he could fight back, and he loved it. It was his favorite thing to do.
——————–
(Thanks to you,I couldn’t focus on studies from Sep.-Dec. ’06;and God knows what I’ve done in the papers.)
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11. Best of luck for your life,for your job(i.e., if you join), for your friends and brothers, and for the year 2007.
Happy new year!
P.S. : Special thanks to Upasna for the space I used in your blog.
Actally I misinterpreted one of your posts,and the comment I placed below it really changed it all.
That was a comedy of an error.
End of letter.
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And thanks to you Mr. CAR.
Yout 1st post,i.e., “doing the dishes” was most near to reality.
Repacing with a new vessel was an option I never really considered.
She’s my 1st love.
Last post,Couples in glass houses, well a great story. Close to one of the events that happened one day.But not a representation of the whole sequence of events.
But a lesson really.
Love needs patience.
Big one: I’ve not yet said a goodbye.
(Hope to catch her “Tanha”)
Bas ek pal:Tere bin kaise jiya, kaise jiya tere bin…
BACK TO THE FUTURE
Dear “She”,
I’m feeling the time constraint now.
There’s no more time to waste.
Thus,there’s no more room for confusion.
How about commiting ourselves to each other…atleast for the next 5 months?
So just come here,and let’s decide on a time and place where we meet,and charter out a plan for covering some crucial topics/prog. langs. of the CS/IT curriculum.
That’s precisely what I initially set out to do.
That’s precisely what’s most important for me right now.
——————————
How about this Wed/Thurs/Fri at say 1100-1200 hrs.?
Just come right here,on this blog,and give me a time.
Place : Where we 1st met.
This’s probably the best way to fix it.
By the end of March,I guess my job should be done.
Waiting for you reply…
Nice post. Inspired me to write something too!
Anyway, welcome to the fraternity of old men. By your own admission, you are now as old as me!
thedq: hehe I know. I think we all go through this. I just tried to exaggerate it a bit. You were right about the Bday.
Anon: Thanks. Although, you might have to cut celebrations short as within a matter of months, i shall again resume my younger status.
He of Him and Her: Thank you for all the comments specific to my writing and posts. As far as the other portion is concerned, I guess you are seeking an audience who just arent interested. perhaps a different stage is recommended?
Will definitely take the “other portion” to a “different stage”.
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On this post itself: Perhaps just a state of mind…
-He of Him and Her
Whoah…that was dark…disturbed me at some level…hope you are doing well.
I am doing just fine. Just another one of my semi real but mostly exaggerated experiences!